Bloody this, bloody that.

Bloody thames island ramp
A ramp in the Thames river onto a bloody island.

Bloody harrowing fish yeast
A yeast that fish make that's pretty bloody harrowing.

Bloody garden seperated belongings
A bloody set of belongings that are seperated by bloody gardens.

Bloody bereft jubilee mammals
Mammals that attend a bereft bloody jubilee.

Bloody hiring eftpos repeat
What?

Bloody porridge heist shoes
If you're gonna steal a whole lotta porridge, you'll need these special porridge heist shoes.

Bloody forest hack entity
Anything that used to hack forests.

Bloody graphite weather mambo
A style of music that is written in pencil and is influenced by the bloody weather.

Bloody earnest holiday wrap
A type of wrap that wraps up holidays in earnest. It's the stuff that wraps up those 'package deals'. Gotta have something holding those packages together..

I'm so hungry, I could eat a meal.

Hungry again. Very much so. Some would say 'I'm so hungry, I could eat a horse!'... Not I, as for one, I couldn't even catch the horse - let alone cook it all up, eat it, make the bones into horse stock, and have that in a risotto the following week - because eating a horse surely would be the whole thing? Unless you meant you were so hungry you could eat horse meat. That would take on an entirely different meaning. No more would it be about eating a vast amount of food in the form of an animal that we in New Zealand don't traditionally eat, but it would be about being hungry enough to push our morals. That I understand. Except I'm sure someone would eat a horse burger with horse sauce on it that has a picture of a happy horse with a chefs hat on and a knife and fork in hand - even if they were only mildly hungry - while someone who loves horses and is vegetarian would probably have something to say about it's very existence, let alone eating it.. So, how about, 'I'm so hungry I could eat a bowl of caterpillars'? Or 'I'm so hungry I could eat a kitten'.. That's more realistic as we could physically fit those inside us. As for just large amounts of food in one place (such as the horse) what about 'I'm so hungry I could eat all the occupants of a prison'?

So anyway, I think 'I'm so hungry I could eat a horse' is a stupid saying. I think what's more realistic is 'I'm so hungry I could eat a meal'. Maybe '..eat a large meal'. But I mean really - if you're hungry, what the fuck else are you gonna eat? Definitely not a horse, that's for sure. Almost.

Here's some alternatives you can try out (they differ in severity for different stages of hunger):

I'm so hungry I could:
• eat a foraging kiwi
• eat a helpful banker
• go to the supermarket
• break into someone's house and steal some food
• eat a sandwich that smells slightly off
• use my credit card to buy McDonalds
• eat ten spiders with snake sauce on them
• starve to death
• spend $10 on a vintage banana
• get snappy at other people
• eat a cyclists spandex outfit with jam on it


Add your own if you feel that way inclined. Or don't.