Pesky Food

Feeling hungry. What a scam huh? I fed my body only a few hours ago and it's wanting more. I mean I know it gives me energy and warmth back but to constantly demand being fed is rather unfair I think. I don't constantly demand warmth and energy - in fact I never asked for these things. I'd rather buy a furry blanket for $50 that would keep me warm for years than spend $50 every few days on food. I mean I like eating, but it could be just an addiction. Maybe someone could ween themselves off food completely, eventually not having to depend on it whatsoever. Is food the most addictive drug out there - and the most cleverly thought out? Everyone 'needs' it to survive supposedly, it costs loads, and it grows out of the ground for free! Why not sit outside and absorb the sun's energy? Obviously this is a stupid idea, please do not try it. I refuse to be held responsible for you shrivelling up like a depressed raisin and dying.

JAH, PASTAFARI!

Pasta Man free download.

This is quite a silly song. I made a beat and was in stupid mood so I picked up the mic and freestyled probably the most awful verse you will ever hear. I am by no means an MC. I am a man who loves his pasta and should stay away from microphones! However it was fun, and since making it available for download on my MySpace I have heard it on Radio Active three times which was hilarious and cool at the same time. So here's a high quality 320kb/s MP3 for you all.

I AM THE PASTA MAN!! (you must say it in a rasta voice).

Enjoy!

Nothing To Say, Except.....

I'm tired.
Language is a funny thing.
Written form... Spoken form... Thought form... I wonder if cows think in moos? Or elephants in enormous-totally-over-the-top sneeze type sounds. What a ridiculous language they have. I mean really - how unnecessary and inconsiderate can you get? There's probably some poor quiet flies chillin around doing the Random Zig Zag Zen Float Manoeuvre, and this old elephant has just GOT to say hi to his buddy 4 kilometers away with his silly nose (which looks like a dead persons arm that has had the bones removed and some kind of futuristic ergonomic vacuum cleaner nozzle instead of a hand on the end, and of course an elephant instead of a person on the other end). Honestly I don't hate elephants, they seem quite nice on the television and it'd be cool to go and ride on one somewhere sometime, I was just enjoying having a rant.

I've been teaching a lot of piano to a lot of small children you see - that's what got me thinking of the language thing. Teaching music is like teaching another language, because you have the written form which is sheet music and the spoken form which is whatever instrument making noise. I was contemplating this today. Nothing came of it other than now I tell the kids I'm teaching them a different language, except it's way easier than English cos the alphabet only goes up to G! They like that. Some kid last week kept on going on about zombies, and after deciding they weren't real, he confessed that mummys WERE real. Apparently it's just like in the movies. What a noob.

Keeping it short like a fleas nipple tonight cos I gotta get up early. . . Except once I sit down and start typing I don't really stop until I think that I've rambled far too much and hit 'publish post' before it's too late. I wonder if you typed forever and ever, just thoughts flowing onto paper - I wonder if a machine could analyze it and model bits of your brain on it, then you could give it a word limit and get it to do virtual-you rambles? What would that do anyway - I suppose not much. Except it could be good if you got really old and died but wanted to have a good old ramble to your great-great-great-great-grandchildren. They could sit there in front of a replica of your head with projectors in your bot-eyes, and it could project words onto the wall as a silent option just in case other people are sleeping, or it could do regular talking with adjustable volume and creepy robotic prosthetic facial expressions. It could be amazing. Or strange. I suppose it could be both also.

Ok, the cat has jumped in front of my face. Silly cat. What has it got to live for anyway? All it does it eat and sleep. Why all this walking around? Why jumping? So it can get to a different position and sit there. Now there's a cat with purpose. At least do some cleaning, or get the post every so often.

I started a blog, here's something.

Ello.

Here you might find stories, new music from me, and general ramblings. Maybe some pictures and links.

I have thought about starting a blog for a while now - I like sitting and typing (more than writing with my hands, actually). When I write I use my left hand - although I learnt I can handwrite backwards with my right hand to be read in the mirror, try it! But when I type all of a sudden I'm not left-handed anymore.... I'm light handed, which is left and right combined. So as well as light handed sounding cool like a jedi, I spread the work between both hands so neither feels overworked or unfairly treated. That's how I roll.

So I think I'll write some stories here. They will probably be a little strange because I am terrible at writing proper stories. I always miss bits out and have to say them later and am quite the opposite of concise. Hopefully as I write more I will improve. One way of writing I find interesting is trying to think of completely different subjects every so often, sometimes every word.

So you might be thinking, for instance:
'Nice wooden table'. So you write 'Nice'.
Then maybe 'boiling kettle': 'Nice boiling'.
Then maybe 'hungry cow'. We must finish it of sometime so we'll skip the adjective and jump to the verb: 'Nice boiling cow'.
...and an edit: 'Nice boiling hat-cow'.

Now that kind of thing gives me that laughy feeling, it's something which I wouldn't have thought of straight out so it's like someone else said it which would be hilarious. It doesn't all have to be like that, but I like doing it sometimes. Maybe Boiling Hat-Cow's are prestigious breed, and someone is sincerely complimenting their friend on how nice it is. Very nice Hat-Cow of the Boiling variety sir, it really understands things like Steve the sink does.

Shit, that's it - I'm naming our sink Steve. I have to tell Nat when she gets home so she doesn't offend him! Steve is a bit of a cripple you see, he's got some major cracks and he leaks a bit. I suppose humans leak a bit too, so he's not alone. Putting water in a human is as fruitless as a piece of rubbish - it'll never stay.

I'm also going to post some tunes here when I write some.