Friday, March 28, 2008

Should we be upside-down more often?

I was thinking today - what if being upright wasn't particularly good for us? Does doing handstands often give a more even body balance? Maybe standing on your head does wonders for your insides, loosening up old dirt and grime and shaking it to the floor. I am no weirdo, and I'm not about to embark on a lifelong diet of wood chips, fish scales, essence of lizard, and making sure I only breath the finest filtered air available through a severed elephant trunk to further my existence by a few months (which would be a much more miserable one by then! Damn lizard essence) - but I am curious and like to ponder things in depth.

So I was thinking, what percentage of your life would you be upside down? (We'll cast aside sleeping as that is horizontal, and you probably do a fair bit of innard mixing in that position anyway.) Would it be half your life, to ensure a decent mix? if so how would choose your switch over times? Would it be one week walking on your head, one week on your legs? Or would it be the slightly hilarious but more efficient 5 second switcharoo? Personally I think a short time of a few seconds would be excellent - giving not only a good mix but also building fitness and reducing obesity. Also there would be added bonuses of a feeling of unification amongst people, that adds to the community feel; amusement wherever you look (at the different techniques and odd situations); increase you acrobatic skill and flexibility.

I think this is a truly excellent idea. You may be thinking 'Golly that sounds awfully difficult Faraday!' (That's if you have an imaginary friend inside your brain named Faraday) - but I mean really, everything is hard until you can do it right? I think you're just lazy and don't want to learn. Learning sucks you say? Well, prepare to fail in life. Take that.

5 comments:

rauparaha said...

Your heart sure would get a workout being at the bottom of your body. As long as your didn't pass out, and your feet didn't become gangrenous and drop off.

Anonymous said...

The 5 second switch would be unhygenic unless we had protective handwear/hooves.
Without handwear we would need to wash our hands every 5 seconds which would cost quite a bit in soap and detol and would be too time consuming.

Ed Zucchini said...

This is no time for excuses. It will strengthen your heart and also your immune system by introducing all sorts of bugs. We will become super humans, like in Heroes - but our power is turning upside-down and not getting sick (after a while anyway). Unless the government supported this idea, then they could spread the streets with alcohol cleanser, or at least have pottles lying about the place.

It's upside-down or the highway!!
I know it doesn't rhyme.

Anonymous said...

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Anonymous said...

You should really try the essence of lizard, its good this time of year