Ed's Hiccup Remedies

There are all sorts of remedies flying about like drinking a cup of water upside-down and so forth, but I feel some of the more effective ones have been left out. Here is a short list I compiled in an idle moment:

1) Fire a flaming arrow made from the rib of a cat through a eucalyptus leaf while gargling a mix of wine and orange juice that has passed through a cobra three times in an East-West direction to counter the spin of the Earth.

2) Step lightly on the toes of five world leaders within a two minute timeframe.

3) Find ten flies and capture them in a crystal vase, then transport them safely to the nearest market and attempt to sell them for $24.99 each. When someone hands over money, allow one to escape saying 'there you go!' as it flies away.

4) Find a bush and run at it with a mask on. You're welcome to topple over the front of it when you get there. If this doesn't do it, it's because you forgot to replace the floor in the kitchen with a fire-pit.

5) Visit the crater of an active volcano and watch as the lava falls around you. I reckon that should do it. If not...

6) Try to make a creme brulee whilst betting a million dollars you don't have on a sport you know nothing about. Have the TV in front of you. Man that would suck. Even if your hiccups don't go away, the intense experience would fully overshadow them and you'd probably cease to notice them.

7) Find a goat and try to benchpress it 20 times without it biting you whilst spiders are dropped onto your tummy and an old woman dressed as Darth Vader attempts to teach you Cantonese.

Good luck!